Why would anyone ever make Ecks vs Sever,
while adding the title ‘Ballistics’ forever;
Featuring the international cast of Banderas and Liu,
along with a director who will never ever get his due.
They shoot, maim and they kill,
and we keep watching as we foot the theatre bill;
The monologues sound more like something that rhymes with ‘tart’
In this writer’s structure the donkey came after the cart.
Me act natural, me act deep,
That’s what old Antonio is saying in his sleep;
Me act cat, me act bitch,
That’s Lucy’s swan song and the last time she gets rich.
Who is Ecks? Who is Sever?
Will I get to know this ever,
I am getting euthanised by those flashing images,
Hey, that’s just Antonio and some bobbing cleavages.
Wych Kaosayananda – that’s the director’s name,
I know its a mouthful that you’ll forget all the same;
He would do well as Jigsaw’s next 3D victim,
Or the ‘Human Centipede’s’ next escapade up someone’s rectum.
That’s my two cents on Ballistsic – the max my brain allows,
The box office returns match the number above;
I would advise watching it too,
When you have no backup plan in the loo.