Off the air and back again

I am on the verge of having my cable connection disconnected. I guess Night Watch will be the last movie I am going to see on cable in my room. I usually watch TV using my laptop. Connecting an HonestTech external TV tuner box for the last three odd years has taken its tollTV-Sucks and the TV tuner box is about to packup. Dodgy USB cable, snowy beginning and end channels, shaky points on the box that actually make the laptop restart every time the table upon which it sits is shaken. I can’t handle such delicate stuff and this is showcased by the fact that my ultra delicate Sony Ericsson headphones for my Walkman mobile have let me down twice in the last six months. I can’t even fold the wires cleanly without ending up with one dead earpiece.

Anyway, this could be a blessing in disguise, as I need to stimulate my writing and move away from the mundane B2B, B2C stuff that happens in office. My writing has been stuck with IT cliches like ‘Best-in-class’, ‘streamline’, ‘delivery process’, ‘faster time-to-market’ – I could puke a dozen more if it pleased a techie reading this piece. ‘Corporate whore’ that’s what a good friend would say every time I concentrated on my work and spouted stuff that would fill some tech geeks PPT presentations.

Corporate whore – well the term has got me thinking now. What’s a corporate whore? Rather who is a corporate whore? If I were to go by my colleagues definition of this term I would define it as someone who sleeps around with half a dozen presentations, brochures and internal company dossiers spread out on his/her lap while faking an orgasm on receiving a bonus and a hike for raising the monetary graphs of an MNC brought up on a steady diet of bullshit from the pimping top management and the coffers of half a dozen cross-dressing Wall Street types.

Speaking about Wall Street, I hear Charlie Sheen and Martin Sheen are reprising their roles in a sequel by Oliver Stone. Something about the recession – that’s what they say. After the drivel that Stone’s shoved down our throats over the last decade, I would say that he might as well sell off his kidney if he wants to stay alive in Hollywood and maintain his lifestyle. Permit me to have a laugh after a long time – the Kidney Stone – get the drift? Is Charlie Sheen going to have a dekko at Gordon’s Gekko this time around? Kiss and make up and join forces with Wall Streets Mr. Greed and generate the next ponzi scheme that would actually provide returns to every investor. Well that’s what I am hearing, cause E!News says its a new and improved Gekko who is being shocased now and he is out to gain his sainthood before Mother Theresa.

Now that my cable connection is on its last leg, I am getting a bit nostalgic about it. I will miss Punk’d on VH1 along with Ashton Kutcher’s butchered dialogue, Rajdeep Sardesai doing absolutely no justice to Dileep Sardesai’s otherwise impeccable gene pool, Celina Jaitley bandying around like a monkey with mascara on a diet of fermented bananas hoping that someone with a falsetto poked her from behind, T. Rajendar judging one of the most unjudgeable dance shows on Zee Telugu (now I know why my set top box packed up, this channel shook up the circuits), hey the list goes on. BTW the Telugu version of So You Think You Can Dance is so out of this world that it would give Star Trek a run for its money in the galaxy box office charts. I would rather watch the Klingons vibe to Chiranjeevi’s hit songs than the nest of deadbeat performers who whored themselves to get stitch a set of buttons on their vests.

I am tired, I need to go home now, I need to watch my last movie on cable and it’s a toss up between ‘Closer‘ on Sony Pix and ‘Night Watch’ on Zee Studios. Hey and BTW I will sincerely miss the Tonight Show with Conan and E!News with Ryan Seacrest. I love the inside scoops on Hollywood.


2 thoughts on “Off the air and back again”

  1. doesn this mean I’ll finally have more movie channels than you? 🙂

    telugu version of SYTYCD? Oh dear lord, do send links!

    1. Hey dude, I just came across the show yesterday evening. T Rajendar was the guest judge and it was hilarious. I dont think its up yet on youtube. Will let you know if I come across it again.

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